It doesn’t even have to be said. If divorcing spouses have youngsters, a divorce is going to be difficult. The children’s lives will be permanently affected, and for that reason, a number of parents involve their children in discussions regarding child custody and visitation. Don’t. Your children really have no place in these discussions. Of course it’s important to tell your children that you still love them and that they are not in any way responsible for the divorce, but it’s also important to draw some lines. Court hearings, negotiation sessions, and attorneys’ meetings are frankly inappropriate for children. Instead, you and your lawyer must speak and act in your children’s best interests. If you are divorcing with children in Westchester, Dutchess, Putnam, Orange, or Rockland County, or if you’re wrangling with your ex-spouse about child custody, support, or visitation, take your case immediately to an experienced Peekskill family law attorney. Nothing is a higher priority than your children.

It’s always best when divorcing parents can take a cooperative approach to settling their disputes, especially the custody and visitation disputes that most affect the youngsters. Think of yourself as working for your children but not with them. Children frankly do not benefit from exposure the acrimony and contentiousness that often accompany a divorce. Ensuring that they are safe and that they are loved by both parents is what children require most during a divorce.

Most of us know people who stay married “for the sake of the children,” but the real truth is this. Divorce is probably better for your kids than raising them in an atmosphere of contention, acrimony, and abuse. If you need to dissolve an abusive or violent marriage in New York and get your kids out of a bad situation, talk at once with an experienced Peekskill divorce attorney. Don’t let your children grow up surrounded by anger, arguments, and acrimony. In that type of a marriage, a divorce can offer youngsters these real, practical benefits:

  • A more relaxed emotional atmosphere: Although it may be tough the first few months after divorce, your kids will eventually “settle in” to a calmer and less contentious life.
  • Two homes without constant wrangling is better than one home with it. For the children, dissolving a bad marriage can be a double-win situation.
  • Happier adults: Happier adults make better parents, and better parents make better kids. Happiness is contagious. There’s no certainty that you will become a better parent after a bad marriage, but you’ll be able to focus more and better on your youngsters and your parenting.

Whether you need advice for the future or legal representation now, speak to an experienced Peekskill family law attorney about the issues that impact your youngsters. If you are seeking the modification of a current child custody, support, or visitation order, a Peekskill family law attorney can help. Your attorney can also review your circumstances, explain your legal alternatives, and help you choose the right options for your youngsters and yourself. For the sake of your children, do not wait to make the call.

By: Kimberly Pelesz

Family law and criminal defense attorney Kimberly A. Pelesz received a B.S. degree magna cum laude and an M.P.A. degree summa cum laude from Binghamton University. She earned her J.D. from Pace University School of Law in White Plains, where she was selected for Phi Alpha Delta. Her charitable activities include work with My Sisters’ Place in White Plains and the Westchester County District Attorney’s Humane Education Taskforce.